My Dearest Child,
by NancyErin
Summary: One-shot. Rick writes his child a letter. Continuum of Dear Kate,


Title: My Dearest Child,

Author: NancyErin

Rated: none

Summary: Rick writes his child a letter

A/N: English isn't my mother tongue. This is sort of a continuum (sequel if you prefer) to _Dear Kate,_

Both a one-shot. I recommend you read _Dear Kate,_ first but it's not compulsory.

s/8206151/1/Dear_Kate

Again thank you ahead to all of those who will take their time and leave a review! Greatly appreciated!

Nancy

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**One shot**

_My dearest Child,_

_I think this to be the most appropriate way to start this letter out to you, since I obviously don't know your name._

_I'm writing those very few lines out to you, for you to know and understand the love that has always been there between your mother and me. I might no longer be part of your lives, but I know that I will always be in your hearts._

_I love your mother very much and I love you very much too. I love you from the bottom of my heart, and I love you to the moon and back. I wish I could have had the chance to get to meet you, to kick ball or to make tea parties. Whatever it is, I seriously wish I could have been there to see you grow from the smallest of baby to the person you have become today._

_I told your mother to give you this letter whenever she finds it fit. I am aware that I might be a complete stranger to you, but I hope I am not. I am most certain that your mother took very good care for you to know who your real father is._

_Did your mother marry again? Did she find happiness elsewhere? I hope she did. She deserves happiness more than anybody else. I know she found happiness when she knew she was pregnant, when you were born, when you made your first step, and when you spoke your first word._

_I know she will always be reminded of me through you because you are our love, our little sunshine, our miracle._

_Are you five years old when mom (a word so surreal to me) reads this letter to you? Or are you ten? Fifteen? Twenty? Are you up in your room alone? Is mom sitting by your side? I don't know…_

_I want you to be nice to your mother, listen to her. She might be harsh at times, but she is only seeking out for the best for you. Take care of her. Hug her and tell her how much you love her. She needs to hear it. Tell her that I love her too and that I will always be with you._

_Wherever the two of you are, I'm right by your sides…_

_I love you,_

_Always,_

_Your dad_

* * *

Jamie folded the letter neatly together before putting it back into its envelope and the top drawer of his night table. He sighed a couple of times as his gaze drifted onto his night stand where a picture of his birth father rested. The man in the frame had piercing blue eyes and was smiling back at him. Holding it up, Jamie became pensive, trying to get a feeling for the man in the picture.

His mother had told him a lot about his father, how they had met and how they had fallen in love. The truth was, that despite all the stories, he still didn't know who his father was. Who he really was since he never got to meet him.

Jamie loved to hear their stories (Grandma's, Alexis and the rest of the bunch). But most of all he loved to see the sparkling in his mother's eyes and the smile on her face whenever she was recounting him their adventures.

A knock was on his door. When he looked up at the ajar door, his mother was smiling down at him.

"Everything all right, Jamie?" She asked and stepped inside his room to sit at the edge of his bed.

Jamie nodded, "Yeah, I guess… I just read dad's letter you gave me this morning."

Silence followed as Kate gave her son the time to either think of his next words or just let it all sink in.

"Wanna talk about it?"

Jamie shrugged his shoulders while Kate couldn't take her eyes off her ten year old boy. He was a tall, very handsome boy. She had always thought of Jamie to be the splitting image of his father. Lanie and Espo thought differently. They proclaimed recognizing features of both parents in him. The only thing Kate was sure of was, that Jamie most definitely hadn't inherited his father's temper. Jamie was thick skulled, just like she was, and if things didn't go his way, he would get easily upset and he wouldn't take no for an answer. Maddie, on the other hand, was a complete different story. She was quite a handful.

"Mom?"

"Does dad really love me?"

"He sure does, Jamie! He loves you more than you could ever think of." Kate wrapped her arms around her son and pulled his head closer against her chest. Jamie welcomed the hug and relaxed into his mother's embrace.

"I don't understand how he can love me. He's dead. He doesn't know me!"

"Remember how I told you that dad always wanted to have a baby, but I wasn't ready for it? And as you know, it takes two to make a baby." Jamie again nodded. Kate had always made sure he knew how he was conceived. It was their past. It was where he also understood why he had a father who wasn't there. "We loved each other very much, Jamie. Your dad wanted to make sure that I could have that baby I always wanted. I know it's difficult for you to understand it all, but dad loves you, Jamie. He loves you and your baby sister so much." Jamie scoffed at the mention of his sister. "I know she sometimes drives you crazy, but deep down in your heart, you love her too."

Jamie let out a long sigh. He was a very wise boy. "I guess so… she's really nosey mom!"

A loving smile grew on Kate's face. The thought alone of her chattering six year old little girl was enough to bring tears to her eyes. Maddie was a very energetic child, barely ever able to sit still if only for a couple of minutes. Maddie was the mini-Kate, Castle had always wanted. Kate knew that much and Maddie would have had her father wrapped around her little finger in a matter of no time. Even if Maddie sometimes drove her to the brim of sanity, she loved her daughter. She loved that energetic little bundle to pieces… both of her children meant the world to her.

If only Castle knew how much happiness he had brought to her by giving her those two wonderful and amazing human beings. How ever different they were, they were the essence of their love and they would always be. Castle was still alive to her through their children. Every touch, every smile and every breath they took, he was there with her. She wasn't alone.

"Mom?"

"Hmmm?"

"Are you crying again?"

Kate had used to repress her feelings for years, but she almost never hid them from her children.

"Yes… I really miss your dad, Jamie. He would be so proud of you, you know? You're an amazing little boy, sweetie."

"I'm no little boy, mom! I'm ten years old today!" Jamie reminded her ever so gently.

"Right… my mistake. I know how much you hate hearing me say this, but you will always be my little boy, Jamie. No matter how old you are. And I love you, Jamie…"

"Love you too, mom."

"Are you ready for your birthday, huh? Friends are going to be here soon."

"Uncle Javi too?" The boy wanted to know with glistening blue eyes.

Kate needed all the support she could get and she was glad Esposito was there for her. He always had been throughout all the years. Jamie loved his uncle. Those two had a special bond and very unique one too at that.

"Yes, of course. He wouldn't want to miss it for anything in the world." Kate spoke softly, combing her fingers tenderly through her son's dark blond tresses. "Besides, it has become fairly too quiet in here and I'm worried what your sister is up to again."

The two shared another long hug and a kiss before they made their way into the kitchen, where they found a chair pulled up against the counter and Maddie standing right on top of the latest. She innocently gazed up at her mother who could easily have burst into yelling, but through the years she had learnt how to control her emotions. She had had years of practice before that anyway.

"Maddie! What are you doing?" Kate reprimanded with a strong tone in her voice. She strode over to the counter and heaved her six year old away from the birthday cake.

"I'm just looking, mommy!" Maddie said with a pulled lip and saddened facial expression, which could get her anything she wanted. Not always but most of the time. The chocolate smeared mouth and fingers gave her away though, along with the now practically clean large bowl used to mix the chocolate dough earlier, standing in the sink.

"Maddie! You've got chocolate all over you. What did you do?" Maddie remained naively silent and instead let her mother put two and two together. Kate was well aware of what had happened and decided to let her mischievous behavior slip one more time. "Any good?"

"I don't have the words to describe it. In fact there wouldn't be enough words in three dictionaries to describe how good it was, mommy!"

Kate was struggling not laughing out loud at her youngest cuteness. She was still mad at the girl's snooping tiny little fingers. She knew her way around with words just like her father used to do. She was a witty, but clever little girl. Instead Kate hugged her close and dropped kiss onto her chubby cheeks before rinsing the sticky substance off her hands and face with a washcloth

"Okay, Mommy, I kissed you! Now can I please get back to the rest of my life?"

"I love you, Maddie"

Maddie had a secret six sense and literally softened at her mother's words out of nowhere, "I love you too, mommy!"

Yes, Kate's life was a handful, but she wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. It was hers and it was perfect. Castle had graced her with two amazing children. She might have found a new love in the man who was now sharing her life, but her heart would always belong to only one man, and that man happened to be the father of her children: Richard Castle.

Lost in her thoughts she found herself daydream while gazing at her now playing children on the floor. There were times where the two were like best friends and then there were times where they couldn't even stand being in the same house. Kate sighed and gave one last glance at the birthday themed living room, as the first guest rang the door bell.

"I get it!" Jamie exclaimed.

"No, I get it!" His sister chimed in right away, chasing after her brother.

Kate let out a low moan before catching up with the running pair. In the hallway she walked past a frame that held three pictures; Castle in the middle and a recent picture of each child on either side, reflecting the resemblance to the dot.

"Thank you, Rick… I love you… Always…"

She took one last deep breath, wiping the spilling tears out of her face. She needed and wanted to be strong for this, not show her weakness, but with every birthday she was anew reminded by Castle's absence in her life. She knew that tonight she would find herself crying to sleep again and Lanie was going to be there to pick up the pieces. Ever since Rick Castle had stepped into her life, he had tumbled it upside down, and even now, sixteen years later he still managed to do that. He had been the love of her life and he would own her heart forever.

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The End

A/N: I had tears in my eyes at the end... so sad... urgh...


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